


Kizuato

by mrs_themonarch



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/F, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Miscarriage, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempts, Teenage Pregnancy, sadboi hours
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 18:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18629089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrs_themonarch/pseuds/mrs_themonarch
Summary: It was this about her- she made the world stop. The hurries and the rushing in the world meant nothing to this girl. Sometimes, this effect landed on you like collateral damage.theme: Wash. - Bon Iver





	Kizuato

It was this about her- she made the world stop. The hurries and the rushing in the world meant nothing to this girl. Sometimes, this effect landed on you like collateral damage. Everybody in the train station who cared enough to look, stared. Even Zuko, the most invloved of the bystanders. The most unsuspecting, even though it was quite familiar to his troubled past. His own unrecognizable sister had complete control of the train station- and her brother once again.It wasn’t a nice feeling.

 

Her form told them she was about to jump. She bounced back and forth in her stance watching the long train move quickly past. That worried Zuko. Why did she look like that? She had unaturally blonde hair and westerner paled skin.  Had her mental state gotten worse since the siblings last saw each other ? He took out his headphones which blasted his favorite genre of American rap.

 

“Azula,” he called.

 

Azula had razor sharp focused eyes, and fists to ruin her palms with blood. It wasn’t of her “list” to care. He assumed as much. But then he remembered the words of his stern father, “Asume wrong, and you’ll never see this messy room again.” At the time, he thought it was a good thing, but he learned the hard way, it wasn’t. As he tried to work through his confusion and the bothersome crowd, an old man approached, just as captivated. “Do you know her? What is she doing?” he asked innocently. Zuko was frustrated enough, so he swatted the man away without making real eye contact. “Ah, how am I supposed to know?!” It was that same disrespect that distanced him from his family.

 

Zuko knew he had to reach her fast before she did something rash. He dramatically dropped his phone and black bookbag on the dirty floor, tripping some small kids and earning him a few scoldings. It was a close catch, but like he was told many times in his past, almost was never enough. Azula also knew that very well. Open car doors approached and so did the climax of their distant meeting. “San, ni, ichi!” She jumped. It struck the memory of another fateful jum she took before the mental hospital.

His suspicions were confirmed. Two friends of hers were on the train. Ty Lee, illegally holding the door open in a star pose waiting for Azula to attack and board, Mai simply riding along. HIm and the free loader locked eyes. The glass doors passed as Azula tore off the wig and reavealed her slick black hair and smirked back as Zuko.

 

The telling words rang in his ears, “You’re all scared, like babies! I’m not frightened at all.” He winced at his own memory. The beauty she shined in as she gave him a push, then fell against the blue sky. He snaps back to reality, and the world is moving again. The guards are slightly tensed, but that’s the only thing remaining of what happened right before him. _I have to find her!_  


Everybody on the train looked up. Some in marvel, some in fear. The children's heads were gripped with the fear that a psychopath had just boarded. This was the kind of care azula thought was pathetic. The history behind it blurred into the background of her more prominent tasks. Azula did enjoy the fear factor, though. They could see it in the slant of her eyes. The glint of change in her focus. She didn’t even have to catch her breath. Mai and Ty Lee looked around- the only thing they got from the attention and strange looks was an anxiety. “As you were,” Azula ordered of the citizens. Strangely, they all followed. Mai, like she would usually do, repressed her concerns of the irrelevent. Her calm grey/brown eyes drifted to Azula’s tight stomach, which was exposed by a red bralette and high waisted black pant. “How are you ? Is... it okay ?” She hesitated with her last words. She and the Ty Lee shared a look as Azula clenched her stomach. “Is something wrong, Azula?” Ty Lee acknowledged.

 

There was the incorrect thought that knowing she was seen would cure her, before it was the slightest things that set her off. The unevenness of her bangs, the scars around her neck and arms left by the straight jacket. The occasional bleeding of her minge when she had to change her clothes. The reminder that even now, changing her clothes herself was a privilege- one that hurt. Blood was a physical reminder; now she had a bigger one. One that would either stay in her for the length of a normal pregnancy, or be gone within the week. “I need to see a doctor. Immediately !” she rasped, as if there could be something done before they reached the core of Yokohama.

 

“Of course, but we need to get you home first. Do you need my jacket ?” Ty Lee asked, though she worried it would trigger something awful in Azula’s memories from seshin byoin. “Hai.” Azula answered sharply, nearly ripping it from Ty Lee’s back. She offered it because the bus was cold, but Azula took it and sat on the padded seat of the train. She rested her head against the window. The girls sighed and sat on opposing sides of Azula. They all held hands as they passed through tunnels and stops.

 

Mai turned her head in the direction they came from. “Your brother must know you’re back.” she commented. Her hand was squeezed with nails digging into her palms. She hadn’t felt Azula’s hot hands in a long time. _Three years exactly._ She thought. A lot had changed since what they called “the breakdown. Not to her face though, _ever._ She pulled her hand away and clasped them together on her lap. Ty Lee joined in. “He’s probably told all his friends by now. Aang, Toph- well Toph is in Kyoto right now…” she paused. “Katara.”

 

Mai gave Ty Lee a scolding glance. She shouldn’t have brought the name up so soon. Azula sat up letting go of her the hand on her left. There was that inappropriate smirk again. “You know, it’s funny. You say my brother like you two didn’t date. You say _Katara_ like I didn’t ruin her life.” she said, triumphantly.

 

“Azula-Sama,” Ty lee choked, prepared to chastize using a form of ironic respect. There wasn’t the same incantation after all that had happened, and she wasn't sure if Azula would demand the same respect in this position.

Out of school and work, things were different. Weakness and fear glistened in her eyes quickly before she looked back down at the dirty train floor. Azula, of course, found great humor in this. “Continue ?” she said, cut rate. The smaller girl nearly sniveled. This was her friend. She could feel the abridgment of their old friendship tying her torso together and squeezing the breath from her tiny body. “You shouldn’t say things like that,” she mumbled awkwardly.

The bath was cold. Cold water was fine on sultry summer days like this. Her roommate didn’t mind it either. Katara spent most of her time in the bath- after school and work. She’d stay for hours studying her Japanese or healing and come out with wrinkles to lather lotion in. No excuse for leaving her residual burn scars bold, dark, or uncured. It felt as if it was such a neoteric experience, she could feel it every time she moved. When really, it was physically numb. The 18-year-old thought she was following her attackers path, going crazy. When she looked in the mirror naked at her smooth brown skin and softly textured hair, she thought nothing  of it. The only thing that mattered of her body was the scar, she named “Ikkuma,” her mother tongue for fire.

On this day, however, Katara filled the ceramic bath and dimmed the lights. She opened the cabinets and pulled out a basket filled by colorful bath bombs. It wasn’t easy to tell which was which in the lighting, but she was too lazy to turn it back on. So a random one was picked, and she threw it in. It was usually meant to sooth her and remind her of the northern lights from home in Alaska. There were pictures, painting everywhere in the apartment, even in the bathroom. Yet her anxiety was spiked today and it didn’t work. Even more so when steam began to rise from her tub. She initially thought it was a reaction to the bath bomb. It _had_ been bought from a vendor in the flee market.

For some reason, she still decided to reach her hands in slowly and feel it. It was an awful decision. She took a mark breath and pulled her hand back. “God dammit…” she said. “How is it so hot ?”

Before she could figure out how to drain the water without adding to her collection of scars, a loud and harsh knock came to the door. “Sokka, could you get that?”

No answer. The sinister knocking kept on. Katara rolled her eyes and stopped the water from running. She rushed to her room and mindlessly put on her Imperial Navy hoodie. If it was known who was at the door, she wouldn’t have done it. Not to mention she was wearing nothing but the hoodie and some underwear. The whole room seemed sot, even with all the fans blasting. Her brother was sleeping on the couch. _Must have been a long day…._

 

It would get longer.

 

“Donata ?” she yelled purposely through the door, to wake Sokka. “It’s Zuko! Open up, are you okay ?” He sounded worried and frantic. Almost, angry, she thought. It must’ve been a family thing. He didn’t even notice the hoodie. She opened the door and Zuko burst through. No sign of his sister. He sighed in relief and sat next to Sokka, who woke up clueless. Katara joined them before she noticed the sweatshirt rode up her thighs. “Actually, let me get decent.” Katara got up and left to her blue room. It wasn't thought that it could be anything too bad. Zuko had a tendency to over react. The whole circle had been on edge since Azula was sent away. The paranoia crept in like a blue snake in the hottest fire.

Zuko put his cracked phone on the table and got back up to look through the windows for three slim girls with bad intentions. “What’s wrong, Z?” Sokka finally asked, after a series of yawning and wiping crust from his eyes. Zuko, sighed and closed his eyes- one badly scarred. Similar to Kataras, but not acquired the same way.

“It’s my sister.” he forenamed. The room rang silent. The boys could head a loud thump in Katara’s room. She heard the cursed name. Jumping into action to comfort her, they walked to her door. She was in the middle of a braid, but now she was just staring in the mirror, dazed and nearly bursting with cold tears. “I thought you put her back,” she fretted, shuddered breath. “Yeah, “ Sokka added. “She was in there for a reason.” he hissed, no sensitivity in his voice. Zuko looked down. Had he really failed? _No,_ he knew.

 

“It wasn’t me. My sister is 19-sai as of the August 19th. She probably came to visit father in prison or enroll into school. I don’t know.” He swore. “I’m sorry, Katara. I’ll make sure she doesn’t bother you.”

 

Katara saw through her new printed T-shirt to the scar. Both of her peers knew what she was looking at so terrifyingly. This royally pissed Sokka off.

 

“You know what, you make sure they lock that crazy bi- she better not show her evil face in Yokohama every again- in fact, where did you even see her ?” The insults continued but Zuko let them fade into white noise as he walked away from Katara’s door. They were just angry. At least, Sokka was. It would ware off. The Malik’s were not angry people like his own family. They weren’t driven by things as bad. But there was a new fire in Zuko’s chest. A new passion instead of this artificial to wake him up or aggravate him.

 

_I must find her._


End file.
